Relaxation is Who You Are

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Can I get an Ohm please? I saw this quote tonight and just thought, “oh heavens yes!” I am going to dwell on this truth over and over again in the next few days. Two weeks ago, my mother-in-law sent me a link to sign up for a twenty-one day meditation exercise based on gratitude. Yes! I signed up immediately and listened to the first exercise spending twenty minutes trying to center myself on the main mantra of the session. I made plans to wake early, sit outside while sipping coffee and ease into my days with thoughts of acceptance and grace. I then spent the next twenty mornings pressing the snooze button as my alarm forced me into the next day. I continued in those twenty days, ignoring my email reminders rolling into my inbox about the various elements of the practice of gratitude, stressed out that I wasn’t making time for these sessions to dwell on the positive benefits of thankful thinking. I guiltily clicked delete as I could not prioritize my responsibilities to include time to reflect on all the things I was grateful, regardless of the soothing music and Deepak Chopra’s voice. I had to give myself permission to say, thanks, but no thanks. Good intentions aside I do not have the discipline to do this meditation session right now. I think I should meditate, but that stresses me out more than is helpful. Whew. Relaxation is who I am, rather than who I think I should be.

I had a few beautiful moments this week that helped me re-shape my priorities. The first was watching the movie “The Fault in Our Stars.” Nothing like watching a movie with two main characters battling cancer that make you re-think how you are living your life and the priorities you use to make your decisions. How would I live my life differently if I knew my days were limited? This theme may seem trite, but I think it is important to consider the choices we are making and the attitudes we cary as we breathe through the day.

I want to hold hands more, eat more ice cream, tell my brother I love him. Notice the good things that are around me. I went golfing with my husband and my father-in-law. I do not golf, I was uncomfortable, and probably a little whiny. However, on hole four or five I realized what a beautiful spot to spend some time pretending to be good at hitting a small ball over grassy fields with a view of the mountains. My life could be so much worse. I can walk, I can carry clubs, I can laugh at myself and my inability to hit a straight shot. It is fun, my friends, to be able to tee off from the lady’s tees. I now have an excuse to buy new athletic apparel. Tennis skirts, those I have, but golf clothes!

IMG_2804We have lived on a lake for the last seven months. Most of the time, I wake up in the morning as I rush through my hurried routine to get out the door and miss the view. I come home from work and cook dinner, do laundry, focus on my to-do list. I need to remind myself to slow down and enjoy the view. One night last week Dylan invited me to postpone the folding of clothes and he took his guitar out to the dock. We watched the sunset, and I was in awe of the beauty that is one hundred yards from our sliding glass door. Chords from the guitar were calming and I casually swatted at the mosquitos. I was reminded that I am immensely blessed to be in that moment. I need to take time to create these moments to unwind – they can be much more natural than a forced, online meditation session. Mosquito bites be damned – be by the water, watch the natural flow of days in and days out. Be thankful for another day to breathe.  Relaxation is who I am.

Essie Polish: Nail Stickers! I love these things

Biscotti – is now switching to flavor of ice cream. Ice cream is a much better dessert for the summer. This week’s flavor: Espresso Chocolate Chip by Boulder Ice Cream (don’t look at the calorie count)

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