February returned. The real February I mean. Not the Colorado teaser February, where I get to wear flip flops and a tank top. Today, I sat at my desk with my coat on all day ( I do this. My co-workers never get to see my cute, professional outfits). I ate chili out of a mug. Much better than a bowl, don’t you think. It snowed a little bit yesterday, and even though the sun was shining, it was still only 34 degrees. While the promise of 60 degree weather lingers in the breaking dawn on Thursday, the snow is supposed to return this weekend. Saturdays tend to be snowy lately.
I’ve been thinking about the weather, and I’ve been thinking about the ups and downs and uncontrollable elements that exist there. One day you’re basking in the sun, the next hunkered down with a little soul food, feeling afraid to be expansive, or creative, or brave. These weather patterns seem to be reminiscent of life patterns. How quickly sunny days turn into cold weather and layers of clothing. Yet the promise of sun is always lingering – especially here in Colorado.
This week, I had the beautiful realization that I have been with Dylan for seven years. The once ever so embarrassing reality of a Valentine’s Day Anniversary has become something that we are now nostalgic about. Seven years since a gangly, dark haired kid asked me out to dessert. Seven years since I first turned him down, and seven years since he persisted. That is a long time. We have seen our ups and downs. When you fall in love at 19, the choices you face and struggles you overcome are significantly different than the ones we face now. I put up this ridiculous picture on Instagram that was taken the first time Dylan met my parents. He had died his hair black at the time. I laugh now and make fun of him looking at that picture. He quickly rebuffs my comments, saying, “Hey, you are the one who fell in love with me.” Yes, Yes I did. Thank goodness my standards of hair fashion evolved. Thank goodness that he let his hair grow back to a more acceptable color. Dylan is my sunshine right now. Pardon the cheese factor, but it’s true.
The cold and call to bundle up makes me draw into myself as I make some significant choices right now. Patterns continue to arise and messages of awareness, progress, and confidence in the choice to be brave ease my soul. Sometimes, we have to pause, and to trust, that things are unfolding exactly as they are meant to.
There is a Brian Andreas quote that has been resonating with me this week. Have you seen this artist? His work is absolutely stunning, unique, and soul searching. So much beauty in this man’s perspective. This reflection of the absurdity of life draws me in to his Story People over and over again. One time, Brian retweeted one of my tweets and I just about peed my pants. Brushes with fame, even on Twitter, are enough to make a person incredibly excited.
My mom has one of his pieces hanging up in her kitchen. Its rich colors and rough exterior make me want to drag my fingertips across the surface of the wood. Anyway, the quote taken from one of his Story People says, “this feels like some kind of ride, but it’s turning out to just be life going absolutely perfect.” Look up his artwork. It’s good for the soul.
I want to trust Brian and I want to delve deep into the roller coaster ride. The ride of emotions, of friendships, of connections to family. Of questions and of acceptance of answers you’d wish were different. There is beauty in the ride and I’m asking myself to just “Throw those damn hands up in the air”. Wheeeeeeeeeee!
Biscotti – none ( I see a bad pattern starting here)
Essie Polish: Forever Yummy