This week was a heavy one. I’ve been thinking about grief, and loss, and recovery, as these things seem to be themes in my life right now. I feel I make progress, then wham, terror on the national news breaks and I can’t help but think hundreds of others have now been pushed under the deep waves of grief. I’m enjoying community in my small group when a young teacher shares that her student lost her mom to suicide this week. I get pushed back under. I can’t watch CNN anymore, and I’m kinda nervous about my access to birth control, let alone how we would afford to have a baby on our perpetual IN 5 YEARS plan. GAH! Things can seem bleak. So I write.
Every single time I click the blue Publish button on WordPress my stomach lurches. Will people judge this process I’ve chosen to be so public about? Will people care? Do I turn others off because I should just be done already?
I dwell in that black space for a minute or two, and then I say screw it. I’ve got things to say, and I think there are people to read and hear those thoughts on this imperfect, beautiful mess we live in called life.
So I keep going.
I came across this image yesterday from Brian Andreas. I didn’t know he had a story called Beautiful Things. Just like me.
The small print brought me to tears, right there in the tiny art gallery. “This is my purpose”, a little heart voice whispered, “and it may never be my 9-5 job, or make me very much money, but it matters, this pursuit of beautiful things.”
This is how worlds change.
So I whisper into the internet. I share my voice. Although, I’m starting to yell a bit more too.
Here are a few of my recent guest posts that kind, caring, hopeful people have chosen to allow me to share.
Cara Meredith’s Author Tuesday Post
This Glorious Life The Photo I’m Thankful For
These beautiful things matter more now than they did a week ago, a month, or even five years.
So I wait. And connect with other people who think things could possibly, maybe get better, are better if we look for the good.
I also watch these videos, and listen, and find healing things to laugh about. I make pumpkin bread from a box, and I hug my husband tight.
What do you do?
ps. I have a VERY exciting announcement that goes live on Tuesday. Stay tuned.