Family

Twenty Things I Learned in My Twenties

charles-etoroma-374017-unsplash.jpg

Photo by Charles Etoroma on Unsplash

Today I turn 30. The ‘big birthday.’ When I started this blog I was 23, unmarried, and unanchored. A lot has changed in the last seven years and I’m eager to see what the next decade brings. Thank you, dear readers, for watching me grow up.

Reflection brings its own kind of wisdom and before I dance into the next new decade, I’m sharing my love letter of lessons I’ve learned about myself in the last ten years. Enjoy.

  1. Career may not fulfill your soul.
    I spent my early twenties bouncing from job to job searching for the perfect fit. I had nine jobs in ten years. There will be conflict at work. There will be days that feel tedious and boring. It is important to find people you can learn from and environments to push you out of your comfort zone. It’s ok to make a switch, and ok to fail. At least you tried. There’s more to your worth than what you do from 9-5.
  2. Ask for that raise sooner than later. 
    You’re worth it. Practice negotiating and communicating how your skills bring organizations different value. It takes practice and it pays off. The least they can say is no, not right now.
  3. New paint makes a big difference.
    Make your spaces your own. Your house can be a reflection of you. Paint is affordable and it takes just a few hours to reclaim space for rest and rejuvenation.
  4. Planning a wedding is fun. Planning for marriage is improbable.
    I got engaged at the age of twenty three and walked down the aisle at age twenty five. That was young. We did marriage counseling, had dated for six years, and talked about many things. We weren’t prepared for how unemployment, unexpected death, and financial uncertainty would change and shape our young marriage. You can’t plan for all of the scenarios. You can, however, pick a partner who will fight for you and hold your hand when things fall apart.
  5. Pick up those shoes.
    Really, I leave them all over the house. Weekly shoe round-ups should be a thing. I’m messy. Tough.
  6. People will die.
    Yes, your people. They will die. Before your heart is ready with things left unchecked on bucket lists and words left unsaid. This is the worst truth of the universe. Surviving the death of my dad has rearranged me leaving gaps for compassion, empathy, and tears. Death sucks. Grief sucks. People die. It sucks so frickin’ bad.
  7. Say I love you every chance you get.
    The last time I saw my dad, he left my house without me saying good-bye. I just assumed I’d see him the next day. I didn’t say ‘I love you’ and I regret that. Life is short. Tell people how much you love them every chance you get.
  8. Friendships change.
    As you grow and change, so will your friends. Give others grace, stand up at weddings, cheer when they announce they are going to have a baby. Honor the space of sadness when the people you could always count on don’t respond as much as you’d like. Hold space for new relationships. Be the friend you want to have.
  9. Metabolism slows.
    Damn. Buy bigger-sized pants. Eat a few less french fries. Get back to the gym and love your body.
  10. Stop resisting when they offer to do the dishes.
    For a long time, I’d be mortified when my mother-in-law would do my dishes. It made me feel like a horrible host. She’s not silently commenting on the state of the kitchen. She’s instead using her gifts and sharing her time. People will show you their love in all kinds of ways. Stop resisting and say thank you.
  11. Having a dog is beneficial.
    They’ll pee on the carpet and destroy a few of your favorite things. But the little creature will warm your heart, absorb your tears, and take up space on the bed when you’re cold. Eye contact with an animal will soften your soul.
  12. Get a few stamps in your passport.
    Planning a trip and traveling abroad will give you confidence and joy in unimaginable ways. Gelato in Paris is delicious. Kidney pie in London is not.
  13. Graduate from an amaretto sour.
    Try different alcoholic drinks and explore how your tastes evolve. Know a few classic cocktails to ask for in a bar. When you order a shot of Fireball with your brother’s friends, they will laugh at you. Don’t let shame shape your choices. It’s ok to like what you like.
  14. Softball is not fun.
    I’d just rather not spend my summer evenings on the ball field. Practice saying no to the things that don’t bring you joy so you can say yes to the things that make your heart beat a little faster.
  15. I’m sensitive. So be it.
    My awareness of others suffering is a gift, not a weakness. Refuse to let others squash the sensitivity out of you. Continue to give the homeless woman a granola bar, make donations to charity, and cry at the news.
  16. People want to read these words.
    I must believe this every time I click publish. Your voice matters and you have every right to share your thoughts. Not everyone will resonate and likes and comments don’t qualify my words as worthy. Keep typing. It doesn’t have to make you money … though that would be nice.
  17. Family is complicated.
    It gets tricky when pain trickles through long-standing relationships. Keep trying. Keep praying. God’s grace can fix holes in family tapestries. Where we come from matters. Hold onto the good stuff, let go of the crap.
  18. You can take care of yourself.
    Of course I want others to take care of me. Bring me soup, vacuum the dirty carpet, offer tissues for the mountains of snot grief creates – yes please. More empowering though? Learning how to care for myself. Take space to sit and be sad. Invest in good shoes, honor your body with clothes that fit, and pay for a therapist to help process. Accepting help is self-care. Putting things in place to meet my own needs – even better.
  19. Money is a tool – let it flow.
    While I prefer to sit on my savings account for fear of not enough, I’m learning money is a tool for joy. Using funds responsibly can create positive, life-changing experiences. Travel. Save for the car. Get a haircut. Sponsor a child. Trust you have the capability to make more money and believe God provides.
  20. Hope lives in the relentless search for beauty.
    The gifts God gives are in the small and ordinary. Keep seeking good and you will find beauty. Clean water, fresh flowers, a kiss on the nose. Bubbles in sparkling wine, puppy breath, baby toes. Suffering and beauty co-exist. We won’t live in a world without both.

52 Thankfuls – 2018

52 Things to be thankful for this year. In a sorta particular order….

thankful.jpg

  1. Family
  2. Fireplaces
  3. Big coffee cups
  4. Paris
  5. Carousels
  6. Honest Friends
  7. Olive-pants
  8. My house
  9. Books
  10. Bosses who care
  11. Chasing dreams
  12. Mountains
  13. Yoga pants
  14. White dishes stacked
  15. Wool sweaters
  16. Twinkle lights
  17. Keyboards to type on
  18. Pasta makers
  19. Learning to sew
  20. Art supplies
  21. Walking paths
  22. The gym
  23. Ham, bread and cheese
  24. Phone booths
  25. Ukulele
  26. Clean water
  27. Flannels sheets
  28. Popsicles
  29. Champagne bubbles
  30. Hiking boots
  31. The Dinner Party
  32. Blog readers
  33. Magazine editors
  34. Roasting pans
  35. Our piano
  36. When my husband plays the guitar
  37. Text messages
  38. Bitmojis
  39. New friends
  40. Old friends
  41. Mussels
  42. Eiffel Tower
  43. Sunsets
  44. Hands to hold
  45. Cozy socks
  46. Handy men
  47. This is Us
  48. Traditions
  49. Learning new things
  50. Monet’s water lilies
  51. Gelato roses
  52. Magic

 

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours. What’s on your gratitude list this year?

At Parties, Pubs, and Places People Gather

My inbox is filling and people are chatting. At graduation parties, the pub, and places people gather, folks are taking time to think of things going well in their worlds. I’m thankful to the following contributors who have brought our list over the 300 mark!

#273 my eldest daughter reading books
#274 my little one pretending to read
#275 the cup of chamomile tea I have in the evening each day
#276 the blessing of having another day to live
#277 my health is great
#278 my kids playing with their tea set in the middle of my bedroom
#279 looking over at the man I chose to spend the rest of my life with
#280 sharing a cup of coffee for 10 minutes in the morning with him before
the kids wake up

#273 – #280 Contributed by Alice V

#281 having a job that works to make a genuinely positive impact in the lives of others
#282 beautifully positive relationships with my family members
#283 living in a location where a lot of people would choose to spend their vacation days
#284 new friends choosing to do life with me
#285 old friends that have chosen to grow with me
#286 stainless steel drinking straws (and other eco-friendly efforts)
#287 having a rescued dog and cat to love me
#288 a partner that loves me even when I don’t act very lovingly
#289 days off from work
#290 a trustworthy Higher Power

#281 – #290 Contributed by Bailey Dutko

#291 this beautiful day
#292 Music
#293 Beer. Beer. Beer
#294 My grandson’s health
#295 Family. All family.
#296 Food
#297 Hiking outdoors
#298 Photography and Instagram
#299 Books and comic books
#300 Bourbon
#301 Naps

#302 – #311 Contributed by Sharon
#312 my job
#313 the outside
#314 my friends
#315 I have the ability to travel
#316 delicious food
#317 tea
#318 whiskey
#319 games
#320 – colo-f’n-rado
#321 my family
#312 – #321 Contributed by Renee Wanger
#322 alcohol
#323 my girlfriend
#324 my health
#325 my bed
#326 5:30 pm every day
#327 family
#328 my roof over my head
#329 showers
#330 date nights
#331 caramel ice cream
#322 – #333 Contributed by Tanner Hunt
#332 I have incredible, and I do mean INCREDIBLE people surrounding me who love me unconditionally.
#333 Life has turned out so differently than I ever imagined it. Honestly, it’s better than I ever imagined it.
#334 I’m starting a business that I am so excited about, I could explode. So many people have come together to support me in this. The feeling of being believed in is so precious, I cannot describe it.
#335 I have beautiful forests just 10-15 minutes away that constantly renew my heart and soul with their beauty.
#336 The month of September is here and it’s my absolute favorite. Everything so gently shifts into a state of glory before the winter.
#337 I’m laughing a lot these days. And laughter has elevated my heart.
#338 Hugs. They are super important and I’ve been blessed by so many of them lately.
#339 The amazing animals that have crossed my path lately. This weekend, I had an encounter with a coyote who leapt out of the bushes not 4 feet in front of me, gave me a piercing glance and then ran back into the forest. At this very moment, I can hear a hawk scratching up above. I believe animals have medicine and can help remind us of our own truths.
#340 Books! I just recently got back into reading after a long hiatus. My mind feels nourished by the words of so many beautiful humans.
#341 Long, hot, showers– not very environmentally sustainable, I’ll admit. But man, what a long hot shower can do for an anxious mind.
#332 – #341 Contributed by Katrina Nilsson-Gorman

When you are ready to contribute your list of 5 – 10 things going right in your world, send me an email at 52beautifulthings at gmail dot com. If you’re feeling stuck, Morgan Harper Nichols created a fun joy template that can be a great place to start. You can find the image on Instagram.

More details about how to submit your list here.

Break Another Rule

Mmmk. It’s officially passed the middle of September and today, because it was cloudy and rainy after a string of 90 degree days, I broke my rule and had a Pumpkin Spice Latte. Half the pumps. As if removing half the sugar makes it so I’m not quite cheating on my October rule.

Then I realized, ‘Hey, I’m the one who makes that rule and I’m the one who breaks it.’

So, I enjoyed every delicious sip.

I’m going to break another rule and continue this little resistance challenge until the middle of October. We just passed the 250 mark and I want to see how far we can get!

Here’s to breaking rules of our own making, sipping pumpkin spice lattes, and thinking of beautiful things. Thank you to the following contributors!

#214 My daughter is currently snuggled up next to me reading a book
#215 My son is rebelling by staying up late to read
#216 I have a comfy loveseat to snuggle my people on

#214 – #223 Contributed by Melody Shaddix
#224 Parents who gave me encouragement as a child and as an adult
#225 My grandchildren who melt my heart
#226 My adult children as parents
#227 Relationships with my sibs
#228 My relationship with the father of my children
#229 Laughter
#230 Prayer!!
#231 Seeing Ireland
#232 Finding fabric for sewing
#233 Exploring for treasures
#224 – #233 Contributed by Diane Holschbach

#234 A dog dreaming
#235 A big yummy latte with a heart on the top
#236 Having my Mom close and being able to live life with her as she grows older
#237 Ireland! If you’ve been there you know what I mean
#238 Colorado sunrises and sunsets
#239 Family celebrations
#240 My cat bringing me a toy mouse and dropping it at my feet
#241 The sound of rustling leaves on a windy, crisp but sunny day
#242 Silence
#243 My bed especially when I am exhausted

#234 – 243 Contributed by Barb Sullivan

#244 forehead kisses
#245 when your daughter says, “I love you”
#246 crisp mountain air (dreaming of fall while in South Texas haha)
#247 a really good cup of coffee
#248 reunions/visits #249 an empty journal and a full journal
#250 handwritten letters
#251 a rare date night with the hubby
#252 that quiet moment in the wings before going on stage
#253 God’s grace and strength to do hard things

#244 – #253 Contributed by Hannah Requa

#253 my beautiful wife
#254 my house
#255 my parents and my family
#256 my new Porsche
#257 I have a reliable Subaru
#258 Good friends at work that get through tough days with me
#259 I’ve got a cute dog
#260 Golf when it’s nice
#261 Summer softball … Fall too
#262 Adventures on the calendar

#253 – #262 Contributed by Dylan Huey

#263 I am thankful for my wife … she challenges me every day
#264 That my son is happy
#265 My amazing daughter in law (DIL)
#266 That I am pain free and able to hike and still climb mountains
#267 I live in Colorado … and all it has to offer
#268 I love ALL 4 season
#269 I got to work with my dad for 20 years
#270 I have a little money in my pocket
#271 Ice cold beer and a burger
#272 Sports teams to cheer for

#263 – #272 Contributed by Mike Huey


Are you ready to send me your list? Put down 5-10 things going right in your world and email me at 52beautifulthings at gmail dot com. Let’s get resisting.

Beam of Light – Mike H.

Because men can give light too. This one comes from my father-in-law. He’s a big fan of the double chin selfie. I’m lucky and honored to be a part of this story.

Mike H. 

Screen Shot 2017-12-29 at 8.34.25 AM.png

My Giving Light is a daughter-in-law who completed my family. I thought it was perfect until she came along. I was so wrong. It is more than perfect now. She has taught me to see the good things in our lives all around us.

My son…who makes me proud as he finds his way in this world.

My business partner/boss shows me how to laugh at ourselves everyday!

Feeling good after being in pain for awhile.

Fresh snow at Christmas in Colorado.

A wife who everyday shows me the true meaning of love and understanding.

 

If you are interested in giving your own light, click here to learn more about how you can enter the Give Light Giveaway. I’m accepting submissions through December 31st. 

Beam of Light – Cathy H.

I’m so excited to share this beam of light from one of my favorite ladies Cathy. I always appreciate her ability to craft and create with excellence.

Cathy H. 

Screen Shot 2017-12-28 at 4.32.54 PM.png

My name is Cathy and I live in Lafayette, Colorado. I work with children with special needs in a public school.

FullSizeRender (10).jpg

 

Cathy has previously contributed to 52 Beautiful Things here.

If you are interested in giving your own light, click here to learn more about how you can enter the Give Light Giveaway. I’m accepting submissions through December 31st. 

Beam of Light – Katie M.

My sweet, sweet friend submitted this year’s first entry to the Give Light Giveaway.  Boom.

Katie M. 

kmyers2.jpg

Hi again friends! If you don’t know me, I’m Katie. I’m a late twenty-something trying to take daily steps towards something beautiful, both in myself and in life. I’ll never say no to sushi, chocolate, hugs, or a trip to a coffee shop. Make me laugh or laugh at my jokes, and we’ll be fast friends.

I am very excited to participate again in this life-giving idea of giving light. I decided to take a different approach from my last submission and draw out a few of the things that have given me light recently. You may need to zoom in 🙂

kmyers1

You can follow Katie on her blog Live Step By Step. She’s also previously contributed to 52 Beautiful Things here  & here.

 

If you are interested in giving your own light, click here to learn more about how you can enter the Give Light Giveaway. I’m accepting submissions until December 31st.